JON FRUM DEAD
A service. In memorial. Live streaming everywhere. Like we are the world. Or Elvis in Hawaii.
Jon Frum, the mysterious stranger. Perhaps from interstellar space. Or somewhere. No one really knew.
He brought a tale of hope everywhere he went. To everyone he spoke to.
A tale of cargo. Luscious beautiful cargo. Perhaps the best cargo anyone has ever seen. Anywhere. Certainly better than China.
Cargo that would come from the StarGate. And solve everyone’s problems.
These were the dreams Jon Frum offered.
Those at the memorial spoke of the time Jon Frum fed the masses. From very little he created a bounty of food to solve everyone's hunger.
Someone handed Jon Frum an iTunes gift card, that only had $5.00 left on it to charge. Jon smiled, and then removed a small device from his pocket. He inserted the card into the device, then held it aloft and spoke to the crowd.
"Behold, i take essentially nothing and turn it into something. I will now feed all of you from this transformed iTunes gift card until you can eat no more."
Jon then pulled out a cell phone and called GrubHub. The GrubHub delivery trucks quickly arrived at the site, and food was distributed to everyone by smiling GrubHub employees. The transformed gift card had miraculously fed everyone there. Until they could eat no more. It was a miracle. It was almost like he hacked the system.
Star people said it was but a small taste of the bountiful harvest that awaited us at the StarGate.
Proof of life so to speak.
A literal taste of what was to come.
Along with the Grub Hub food, small paper cups with kool-aid were passed out to everyone.
Watchful eyes made sure you drank that kool-aid.
You just didn’t want to disappoint them. They knew where your family lived. So you drank it. you drank it all. Every last drop.
The paster at the memorial service started winding up his eulogy. We listened to his words with tears in our eyes, and sorrow in our hearts.
"Now some felt Jon might have been building up a little bit of a cult around all of this wonderful cargo. But he assured us that was not the case. And we took him at his word. Because the temptation of cargo was too sweet to resist. And he seemed like such a nice guy. We all wanted to believe.
Jon was not to be long of this earth. Taken away from us. In his prime. I mean he had barely even arrived and now he is gone. It's heart-breaking when you really think about it. He will be missed."
But what about the cargo?
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